From what I have seen, most people do personal development or self-improvement only when it’s convenient. They do it only when they’re “on the money” and then when they aren’t feeling like it, they slip back into their own habits.
“Adults seem to want to learn everything at once. This approach will not work.” – Milton H. Erickson
It is said that we all teach what we most need to learn, and for this one, I need to learn it too. It’s a continual lesson for me. My guess is it’s a lesson for all of you too – can you stick to your goals when you are tired, cold, hungry, and sick?
I think to myself, what would some elite military guy like a Navy SEAL do in this situation? They don’t know failure. They literally don’t consider stopping. They just keep going until they’re dead.
When I was doing martial arts hardcore, this is one of the lessons I learned – you don’t stop until it’s time to stop. Maybe you’re doing pushups and you can’t do another pushup – that’s fine but you need to keep working at that next one until you get it.
If you’re like most people, you don’t stop to think about why you are here and what you’re doing. You just go through your life, a mysterious combination of motivations and loyalties and drives and desires.
We’re all here on this planet (RIP Pluto) and we all have these things we want to achieve. What are your top 3 goals? For most people it’s a health goal, a wealth goal, and a relationships goal. In order to achieve these goals we have to do certain things and we have to do them consistently.
What stops us all from having our goals? Chiefly among them is our desire for consistency and comfort within ourselves; if we change then we might become inconsistent and we certainly will experience some (temporary) discomfort.
As a hypnotist I’m taught that the reason people don’t stick to their goals longterm is that they rely on “willpower” which is kind of like mental adrenaline – it gives you a burst in the moment but doesn’t last over time. To truly change our goals, I’m taught, we need to change the underlying subconscious programming that is there.
Is this accurate? I don’t know. It’s certainly just a model and all models have their limitations. I’m beginning to doubt it. Because this “habit change” process is a HUGE part of solving people’s problems. If we can get people to change a habit, then we are very much on the way to success.
Thoughts? I know I haven’t spelled out the answer to this one, but I’m still figuring it out myself. Maybe that’s the best place to be in the cycle 😉